...I just don't get it...

...have you ever seen that episode of South Park where Token (the only black character) and Stan are in a fight because Stan's father used the "N" word on national TV? I looked for a clip as illustration to no avail... and they say you can find anything on the internet! :-P

Well, Stan tried to make amends with Token over and over in the episode, only to be met with CONSTANT and vehement refusal. But as the episode draws to a close, you see Stan running to Token screaming, "Token, I don't get it!!! I don't get it!!!".

Token's response after a long pause?

A smile, a wink, a knowing point "Now you get it, man."

That's kind of how I feel right about now. I just don't get it.

I don't understand why Aunt Jo flipped her wig on me for some comments I made to Matthew. I don't get why the family pushes closer when I asked for space. I don't get why Mom did what she did when she did. I don't get why people are ashamed of things that are common fact. As I said to Craig today, embracing my flaws is the most empowering thing I'd ever done - and it was one of the scariest to begin with. I don't get why we'd pretend everything was okay if she's mad at me for something... I don't get why she acts like she doesn't care.

"I DON'T GET IT!!!"

I DON'T GET IT. ...So, in a way, I kinda get it.

None of it matters, anyway. I'm living in a different place than the majority my family now. And I just have to accept it's okay... Like a vegan who has friends who wear leather coats. Suck it up.

I'm being me. That's the best I can do for now. I won't hide things that make me who I am.