Post Script

Job interviews are lining up, my confidence is gaining and I'm actually excited about the prospect of work again. With my attitude change, people are taking more notice of me and it seems like something may happen soon! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Positively Positive

Well, therapy does help. I'll never speak out against it.

Everytime I come home recently, I feel like the weight is a little lighter, and the sun's a little brighter... know what I mean? The world is looking up. I'm taking responsibility for what's mine, assigning blame where it's due, and best of all, trusting in ME. No mom to speak her 2 cents on everything I do. Day in, day out I can just be me and appreciate it. I can love who I am.

For a woman who professed that was the one thing she tried to teach me, she had surefire ways for keeping me down. Like choosing my clothes, telling me I was too fat, being condescending rather that uplifting. Focused solely on the harm I've caused in life, rather than the fact I was supposedly what she'd always wanted. A child. Not a friend, or a Barbie Doll to show off.

I love how I'm starting to feel. I hate the fact I may never speak to her again. But it's helping me, and if it helps me for now, then I have to honour that.

I've been looking for work all morning and am about to take a break from the computer. It feels good to really be excited about going out - not scared or anxious.

I'm gonna make it after all. And then everyone can bite me. ;-)

The Reason

Everyday when I wake up
One thing makes me smile,
I have you now forever,
not "a bit", or "a while".

I'll never have men pain me,
I won't have lonely nights,
Can't fathom tears from lovers,
I finally got it right.

Even when we fight,
He's still all I'll ever need.
Even his worst barbs
Could never make me flee.

He's the reason: love, trust, hope...
From now until the end
He's the reason -
I'll never be heartbroken again.